“Walk on ahead of the people”

February 6, 2024

February 6, 2024

Read Exodus 17-19, Psalm 37

Ever have a time when you need to get away from something? Maybe it’s a situation or maybe it’s a person(s). It might be both! In chapter 17 you will read about Moses who fielded complaints from the people. God tells him to walk on ahead of the people, take some elders (leaders) with him, and take his staff with him. God was up to something. He was going to have Moses tap the rock and bring forth some water to provide for the people. Maybe this would stop their complaining for a little while. I bet Moses enjoyed the time away from everyone else. Maybe he enjoyed the silence or lack of complaints. We all do it from time to time. I am guilty!

Ever think about what life would be like if there were no complaints? If no one complained then that might mean we got everything we wanted, had all our needs met, and didn’t lack anything. Sounds a lot like Heaven. Don’t miss something in this chapter. Read verse 1 slowly. “The whole Israelite community set out from the Desert of Sin, traveling from place to place as the LORD commanded. They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink.” So, God led Israel place to place, where He wanted them to go. And the place that God led them was a location with no water. Hmm… why would God do that? Maybe, it was so that we would turn to Him and seek his help for our needs. Do you think that maybe God wouldn’t give us everything we need, or think we need, so that we might rely on Him? I do.

Exodus 18 is one of my favorite chapters in Exodus. Here we meet Jethro! Jethro is Moses’s father-in-law. Jethro comes for a visit and observes how Moses is busy sunup to sundown acting as judge before the people.  Jethro tells Moses, “What you are doing is not good” v. 17. Moses had a choice here.  He could say, “Hey Jethro! God put me in charge of these 2 million whining people. I get to make the decisions here.” Or Moses could do what he did in the Scripture passage. He listened to his father-in-law and took his advice. Moses wasn’t threatened by Jethro or felt the need to go on a power trip. When he listened, everyone benefited from it. We may find ourselves in positions of leadership from time to time, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stop and hear people out when they come to us. A wise leader surrounds himself with people that are smarter than themselves. They are threatened by someone else’s ideas or skills.

Psalm 37 is a great psalm that contains many song lyrics from modern Christian music, and it is encouraging to read. The psalm encourages us to wait and trust in the Lord no matter what others, especially the wicked may be doing. Face it, we live in a world where it’s easy to think that evil is winning. David had this same mentality, but it was 3,500 years ago. Things do not really change much do they?

As I read this psalm, I was reminded of the childish sayings I said as a kid to the other kids we got in verbal battles of name-calling. “I’m rubber, you’re glue, bounces off me and sticks to you!” We might have said the silly things like this to push back and let the other person knew we weren’t fazed by their trash talk. God is not worried about the evil that is done by the wicked, He knows their day is coming. “But the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming” v. 13. Verses 14-15 say, “The wicked draw the sword and bend the bow to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose ways are upright. 15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts, and their bows will be broken.”

What else do you see in these chapters? What words, phrases, or themes stand out to you? Is there one verse that just hits you with a dose of truth serum as you read? Add your thoughts below.


“You Only Need to Be Still”

February 5, 2024

February 5, 2024

Read Exodus 14-16, Psalm 36

When you are trying to do your best to be obedient to the Lord sometimes it requires us to make a choice, take an action, or start down a path. Other times we only need to be still. We must be careful to not take one situation in Scripture as a prescription for how we respond to everything we face in life. Just because God commanded someone in the Bible to do or not do something does not mean that it is the right means for us to follow. I think our natural tendency is to want to take action and put ourselves in the drivers seat. This doesn’t mean that it is always the right thing we should do.  We find this to be the case here in Exodus 14. Moses led the Israelites out to the Red sea, and then they look behind them to see the Egyptian army flanking them from the rear. They cry out to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?” v. 11. Moses’ response was this, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still” vv. 13-14. God was about to do the one of the most miraculous works in the entire Old Testament by parting the Sea for Israel to walk through. Being still or waiting is not a neutral gear. Just like acting, it requires trusting in the Lord to not move. Waiting does not mean we are inactive either. When we wait on the Lord to act, we can be busy doing what he has already called us to do. What is God calling you to do… or not do right now? How can you exercise faith and confidence in the Lord while you wait or stand still.

It’s hard to imagine eating the same thing every day, even if it was one of your favorite foods. Exodus 16 is the narrative of God providing manna and quail to the Israelites daily. They were to collect it everyday but the Sabbath. The day before the Sabbath they could collect a double portion to sustain them for two days. These strict rules about how much they could take were not for nothing. They were to teach Israel to rely on the Lord daily for their needs. This is where Jesus connects himself to the Old Testament. He calls himself the bread of life (John 6:35) and when he teaches the disciples to pray (Matthew 6:9-15) he prayed “give us today our daily bread.”

What else do you see in these chapters? What words, phrases, or themes stand out to you? Add your thoughts below.


“What Does This Mean?

February 4, 2024

February 4, 2024

Read Exodus 11-13, Psalm 35

What traditions do you enjoy? Are there special things you do during the holiday season or throughout the year that you look forward to participating in? What are some traditions you might take part in and not know exactly why you do them? I heard a story about a family tradition where the children passed down a recipe for a dish that instructed them to cut the end of the roast off. This was repeated over several generations until someone asked why they cut the end of the roast off. It was discovered that the originator of the family recipe did this because they didn’t have a big enough pan to roast the meat!

In Genesis 11-13 we have the instructions from God about the final plague that God would send on Egypt. Unlike all the others, this one would involve much preparation from Israel in order for them to avoid its consequences. The plague of the first born was going to be so impacting that it would cause Pharaoh to release Israel from 430 years of slavery. The Passover would be a special time that Israel would observe each year.

The instructions for observing the Passover were very detailed and for good reason. The Jews were to pass on this remembrance to their children going forward. It would have even greater significance when Jesus would come as “The lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world” (John 1:29). They are to use a year-old male lamb without defect. They are to roast it at Twilight. Consume all of it. – “head, legs, and inner parts” v. 9 Why no leftovers? – The Messiah was one body broken for all. Passover would be replaced by the last supper (See Matthew 26:26-29). The blood was to be put on the sides and tops of the door frames of the homes. They are to eat it with bitter herbs and Bread without yeast, which would symbolize the haste in which they were to exit Egypt. The manner in how they eat the Passover meal is symbolic. v. 11 “cloak tucked into your belt,” “sandals on your feet,” and “staff in your hand.” These are again signs of a quick exit for Israel.

What else do you see in these chapters? What words, phrases, or themes stick out to you? Write your thoughts below.


“Frogs, Boils, and Darkness Oh My!”

February 3, 2024

February 3, 2024

Read Exodus 8-10, Psalm 34

Has the Lord ever gotten your attention with something that you have seen or experienced? Maybe it was a close call with a vehicle, a poignant conversation that hit you right between the eyes, or maybe you were caught in a sin but given some grace to repent and change. In Exodus 8-10 we find God trying to accomplish something similar with Pharaoh with the plagues. God told Moses to go before Pharaoh and give him a chance to let the Israelites go or he would bring about plagues that Egypt would face. God knew what it would ultimately take, Pharaoh losing his own first born. He told Moses this ahead of time. (Exodus 4:23) Back and forth Moses and Pharaoh would go, each time Pharaoh would change his mind and not allow the Israelites to leave. Several of the plagues seem to be a direct attack on an Egyptian god, but not all ten plagues specifically describe an Egyptian god as they were known. God seemed to be sending Pharaoh a message I am greater than the gods in Egypt that you worship. Do you that God would do something today to get your attention like he did Pharaoh? Could it be when we are out of our relationship or walk with God that He would try to get our attention and bring us back under his will? Take your time as you read through the chapters. Some of the plagues the Egyptian magicians could replicate, some they could not. Some of the plagues affected all of Egypt and some only affected the Egyptians and God protected the Israelites from harm. One interesting fact that stands out to me is when Moses asks Pharaoh when he would like the frogs to go away. Pharaoh’s response is “tomorrow” v. 8:10. Why not right now or yesterday? Had Pharaoh become accustom to them or was he just willing to put up with them? It makes me wonder. What else do you see in these chapters? What words, phrases, or themes stand out to you?
Add your thoughts below.


“You’re Not the Boss of Me!”

February 2, 2024

February 2, 2024

Read Exodus 5-7, Psalm 33

Have you ever heard a child make this exclamation before? “You’re not the boss of me!” They may have referred it to another adult, a teacher, or a person of authority over them. In Exodus 5-7 we have a similar attitude coming from Pharaoh. God tells Moses to speak to Pharaoh. You know… “Let my people go….” Naturally, Pharaoh responds “Who is the LORD, that I should obey him and let Israel go? I do not know the LORD and I will not let Israel go” v. 2. Pharaoh may not have heard of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, so he consequentially had no desire to listen or obey him either. We can find the same mentality today among people. They neither know or fear the Lord and their behaviors and speech reflect this attitude. Honestly, who would blame them? When my kids were growing up, sometimes they would come home from school and talk about something that someone did to them or their friend. I would try to remind them that most likely they were not Christians or faithfully living out God’s design for their life. The phrase, “non-Christians will do what they do or just comes natural to themselves” was often repeated. We might not live in a polytheistic culture today in America but that doesn’t mean that people don’t have their gods. The gods just change from Ra, Chemosh, and Molech to the gods of self, materialism, and other things we worship and deem important. The ultimate issue of a god is who has the authority over my life and determines how I live my life. Some might have one god they worship; others might have a pantheon of gods they have amassed for themselves. Christians often use the phrase “Savior and Lord” when referring to Jesus. We have Jesus as our Savior, but is he also our Lord? Does Jesus have authority, lordship, or is he our “boss?” Not just in one or two areas of our lives, Jesus commands us to love God with our “whole heart” (Mark 12:30-31). What areas of your life do you struggle to relinquish control to the Lord?

Psalm 33 is a beautiful psalm that has many familiar phrases in it. It praises the Lord for his creation, his righteousness and just actions. Verse 12 says, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance.” The psalmist recognizes the “blessing” that comes from allowing God to lead and be our boss. When many people see the word “blessing” they might be tempted to jump to an idea of finances or material goods. That might be one way to look at it, but “blessing” is really about an attitude of happiness or joy. Some translations of the Bible capture this by says “Happy is…” rather than blessed. When we recognize God as the ultimate authority in our lives, he will bring us blessings.

What other words, themes, or phrases stand out to you as you read these chapters? Add your thoughts below.


“Excuses”

February 1, 2024

February 1, 2024

Read Exodus 2-4, Psalm 32

Are you the type of person who gives excuses to others? Maybe people give you excuses about why they can’t do something or why something was not completed. What are you most likely to throw out an excuse? Is it because of a weakness, or character trait that you need improvement in? In these chapters we read a lot about Moses, the strong humble leader. He didn’t start out very strong in the beginning.

Moses grows up as a Hebrew raised in the palace by Pharoah’s daughter. He really didn’t fit in with the Israelites or the Egyptians. 40 years later he flees into the desert from Pharaoh who tried to kill him for protecting a fellow Israelite. He’s been gone another forty years and then God comes calling. These verses are all about “who.” First “who” God is, and second “who” Moses is. Moses started out looking at himself.  He lacked confidence in himself even through God was calling him to a task. “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” v. 11. God’s Response – “I will be with you” v. 12. Moses wanted to dig deeper and asks, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?’ 14 God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you’” vv.13-14. Our confidence should be weak if it is in ourselves, but if it is in the Lord, we should have all the confidence we need.

Even with the “who” questions answered, Moses is still not satisfied and turns to the “what” and “how” questions. Exodus 4 Moses starts offering excuses. First Excuse: “What if they do not believe me or listen to me?” v. 1. God’s answer is that He will provide Moses with signs and miracles to perform to help Moses. Second Excuse: “I am slow of speech and tongue” v. 10. God’s response “who gave man his mouth?” v. 11 – God will provide a solution here also. “I will help you speak and will teach you what to say” v. 12. Moses realizes he is not getting out of this. He finally exclaims, “O Lord, please send someone else to do it” v. 13. God reaction – “the Lord’s anger burned against Moses” v. 14”. This is a dangerous place to be, to tell God “No.” This is the one thing we cannot afford to do, it is disobedience.

What has God called you to do, and you are still throwing up excuses or just outright telling God “no?” Take confidence in the God who called you to a task. Trust in Him and lean not on your own understanding.

What else do you see in these four chapters? What words, phrases, or themes stand out to you? Add your thoughts below.


“God Bless You! …Eh Maybe Not.”

January 31, 2024

January 31, 2024

Read Genesis 49-50, Exodus 1, Psalm 31

Have you ever had someone tell you that they were going to do you a favor and it ended up not being a favor? Maybe it ended up costing you money, time, or something worse. Maybe you were called into a meeting that you assumed would be a good meeting and it turned out the exact opposite. In Genesis 49 Israel realizes he is about to die. He calls for all twelve of his sons to gather. “Gather round so that I can tell you what will happen to you in days to come” v. 1. This is usually the tie when a father would bless his children and give them some final instructions and encouragement. This is not the case with Israel here. One by one, Israel tells each son what will happen with them in the future in a prophetic manner. It starts with Rueben the oldest and sounds good until he tells him “Turbulent as the waters, you will no longer excel, for you went up onto your father’s bed, onto my couch and defiled it” v. 4. If you remember, from Genesis 35 Reuben slept with his father’s concubine Bilhah. Next come Simeon and Levi, they are chastised for their violence and actions they took against Shechem and the men of his village. Judah is the first to receive praise from his father. Judah acted noble toward his brothers and especially with how they treated Joseph. On it goes down the list, some good and some bad. The brothers face the consequences of their previous actions from years ago. Right or wrong, Israel remembered the things that each of them did. Let this serve as a warning to all of us that our actions carry weight, and they are not often forgotten. We may receive forgiveness and move on in life, but some things are hard to forget.

What else do you see in these chapters? What repeated words, phrases, themes stand out to you?
Add your thoughts below.


Leadership Principal #6 Be careful of Appeasement

February 16, 2010

  The next leadership principle I saw was in Exodus 32 was with Aaron and Moses.  Here’s the quick summary.

 Moses had just left to go up to the mountain to meet with God and left Aaron, his brother in charge of all the Israelites.  Remember Moses had taken his father in law, Jethro’s advice and put leaders under him to serve as judges for the people.   What happens next, well somewhere between the phrase “When the cats away the mice will play” and the mental reminder of what my brother and I did when my parents left us at home alone sometimes could be a good description.  The people got bored with their lives and decided to try to have a little fun, and come on, how much fun can you have in a desert anyway, apparently plenty.  The people went to Aaron and asked him to build them gods that will go before them.  Flash back to Exodus 20 when God said not to be doing this….  What happens next is perhaps even worse than what the Israelites asked.  Aaron agreed and took the lead in building an image of gold that they could worship and call their god.   (v.2) There was not even a record of Aaron trying to stop the people or remind them that what God had told them in the past or was wrong to do.  In fact he took charge and lead the way.

 This same idea is what I see a lot of young leaders, parents, or ministers falling into, the trap of appeasement.  The young leader wants so badly to have some acknowledgement of leadership or to gain a better following from the people that they will compromise their personal convictions and even Biblical principles to gain acceptance from their followers.

 When Moses came down the mountain I love the conversation that Moses has with Aaron in verses 21-25 of chapter 32.  It reminds me of those typical teen movies where the kids throw the party and mom and dad comes home early to find the party still going on in full power.  Aaron has some explaining to do.

 I know that this was a hard pill for me to swallow as a young minister.  I wanted the youth to like me so bad, I thought that agreeing with the youth on smaller issues would lead them to respect me more and follow my lead.  What it actually did was to create an inconsistent leader in myself and cause them to think they could get everything they wanted from me, which made the problem worse over time.  Over time I have learned to say “no” more and more and learned to stick with my convictions and listen to the Holy Spirit rather than the immature youth when it comes to decisions made in my youth ministry.

 There are two different ways to look at this principle of leadership.  First, if you are a minister who tends to make decisions based on the temperature of the people around you, you should consider making most of your decisions based on principles.  Those principles based on the word of God will best of course.  Don’t be afraid to speak up and talk to other leaders in your field and draw great advice from them about their past experiences and mistakes.  That is after all the entire premise of these principles that I am writing out.  There are no points lost or weak leadership detector that goes off when you ask someone else for advice.

Secondly if you are an older more mature leader be careful who you leave in charge over the group while you are away.  Know your helpers, assistants, and team members.  Help them by making decisions for them and giving them an outlined guide with expectations.  The more specific you can be the better.  Perhaps Moses should have said to Aaron before he left.  “Remember the house rules and no making idols while I’m gone.”

 I know as a parent I have to leave specific instructions for the babysitters to follow while my wife and I are out on our date.  The things that I know and expect to come natural may not be so natural for the babysitter.  After all these are my children, my most prized possession.  I want them well taken care of.

 Years ago I had gone on vacation for a week with my family and had given the responsibility of teaching the med-week lesson to a relatively new couple in the church and in youth ministry.  I had gotten to know them well and knew they were real conservative and I thought the lesson would be no problem for the husband who had served in a church before.  When I came back form vacation I felt a little bit like Moses did, no there were no golden calf’s erected in the youth room, but I did come back to 2-3  students who were literally crying and upset because they were told, and I quote “that if they watched or read any of the Harry Potter books or movies that they were not Christians and not going to Heaven.”  This was during the time when Harry Potter first came out and I didn’t realize that my 2 newest youth workers/parents had the strong opinions that they did towards Harry Potter.

 I spent a few sessions counseling the youth and showing them the scriptures in the Bible that talk about salvation and I had to meet with the adults and explain it to them as well.   I should have known them in a more personal manner before I allowed them to teach for me. The couple had let their personal convictions or dislikes for Harry Potter even take a higher place than the word of God.  This is why everything we do must be based on principles based in the word of God and not on our feelings or personal opinions.  Those have to come second.

 To give you a more recent example, after coming to Westside Baptist over 5 years from now I was blessed to have a pastor who was very good at leadership development.  Over the course of the first few years he soon discovered one of my weaknesses in the area on finances.  I have always been weak in that area and have struggled with budgets.  The pastor began to help me in this area by giving me 2 things; accountability and specific guidelines to work with in youth ministry.  At first I didn’t like the idea having to spend more time on the things I hated and was not good at, but over time I learned though the questions asked and by following the guidelines he set for me to be a better steward of my budget and to give it the time needed to answer the details of the “small things.”  I still have a lot to work on and will always, but I am so thankful that he gave me those guidelines and held me accountable to himself.


Who do I File a Complaint With?

February 1, 2010

One of the great blessings you can receive from being a leader is to have a great group of followers.  It’s always encouraging to have people who are under your leadership that will support you in your endeavors and not question your actions and motives.  It helps build unity and can have a synergistic effect on the group, or body of Christ.  Just like becoming a great leader takes time, so does become a great follower.  And then again some people just never get it for what ever the reason.  Realizing that it takes time to develop will hopefully give you a little more patience and understanding in your area of leadership.

BUT, what do you do when you have those in the group that want to complain about something?  The complaint may be against you or something else that you have no control over, but as the leader you are the one that they will come to complain to, aren’t you the lucky one. 

When you move on in life you will always find complainers in everything you do.  The Israelites first complained to Moses saying we should have never left Egypt, at least we had food in the pot there.  (Ex 16:2-3)  They had taken a step of faith to follow Moses into the dessert and again just like the grumbling at the Red Sea, they began to grumble and complain at the first sign of trouble of no food.  Verse 2 says that the entire community was a part of the grumbling.  This just goes to show you that the Israelites must have been Baptist, you can’t mess with a Baptist’s food without expecting repercussions.  In reality it shows you that complaining can get to everyone and it can spread pretty easily.  In church and ministry situations you can find complaints coming from the most unlikely sources as well as the expected ones.   I imagine that the complaints started in one area or two of the entire camp and quickly worked their way around to the entire camp.  Times haven’t changed much and I know still that people like to talk.

Again, Moses wasted no time dealing with the complaints but immediately went to the Lord, he knew that God was the only source for his answers.  I remember as a young minister that I think I had to rely on God in a great deal of areas because there was a lot of new territory I was crossing into, granted I made my share of mistakes and still do, but as leaders earn more experience I think there is a tendency to rely more on yourself than on God as you did perhaps before.  We must always remember to rely on God for everything, big and small.

God responded to their need by giving them the quail in the evening and the Manna (heavenly bread) in the morning.  He gave them specific instructions on what to do to collect it and how much to collect each day. (Exodus 16:4-5, 14-19)   There is another lesson here that you can also pull from and remind people that God is a God of details and we need to be a people of details, obedience is important to God to the very smallest detail.  When you give instructions to those that are following you, they will not always be followed just like you asked them to be. (Exodus 16:20)  No matter how clear you make the instructions.  There will always be those who think they know of a better plan or way than what you have laid out before the people, while this may or may not be true, they still need to follow the lead of God’s chosen person unless it involves something unbiblical or unethical.  That’s why God put them in the place of leadership.

Also remember that people are slow learners sometimes, we may see the same pattern repeated over and over until the learning curve is met.  If you want Biblical proof, just look at the next chapter, Exodus 17, After the people complained about having no food, they then complained about not having any water to drink and began grumbling again, so soon after the Lord took care of their need with food.  (See Exodus 17:3)  So just keep that in mind that there will always be those who will grumble and who will complain and even those who will not follow the instructions given and cause trouble for themselves and others around them.


Who Me Lord?

January 24, 2010

The next aspect of the story of Moses that I see in the area of leadership is on the leader himself.  With some people who hear the call into leadership can be a very intimidating situation.  Not every one of course, but the humble and least likely of people can often feel inadequate when answering to the call to ministry or to complete a task that God has for them to do.

Moses was no different, the very first thing he did was question God on why God wanted to use him. (Exodus 3)  No doubt, he was thinking about his past and what had transpired with him and the Egyptian he killed.  We can’t let the past hold us hostage into moving forward into where God calls us to go.  Here are a few scriptures, speaking about our past.

  • Isaiah 43:19 – See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
  • Philippians 3:13 – Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,

 

Anyone who recognizes the call by God into an endeavor must always remember one thing; If God called you to a task, a position, or place He will make sure you have what it takes to finish what He desires for you to do, even though you may doubt.  God knows what He is doing.

In Exodus chapter 4 it points out several excuses that Moses tried to offer up to God when God kept insisting on His plan. Moses first excuse was “What if they won’t listen to me?”  God took care of his excuse by giving him miracles to do with his staff, his hand, and some water.   God always provides you with the tools you need to be successful for him.  Today’s tools maybe books, programs, or other ministries to share and pull from.

The second excuse was that was not a good speaker and was “I am slow of speech and tongue.”   God gentle reminded Moses, “Who made your mouth?”  We may look at our set of skills and say to God “I can’t teach like that or I can’t work with children like etc….”  God would say to all of us, I don’t care what you can and can’t do like everyone else, I just want you to do what I ask you to do in your own way and with what I gave you in the way of your gifts, talents, and abilities. 

The last excuses Moses gave God was just a simple I quit.  “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.”  Moses just couldn’t think of any other good excuses other than he didn’t want to do it.  This was probably the worse thing to say.  The scripture says that God’s anger burned against Moses when he said that.  Telling God “No” is dangerous ground.  If you think about it, when you tell God “no” in a way you are saying “I know better than you God.”  God also had Aaron, Moses’ brother, to come and help speak for him also.  Thank goodness for other godly people around us that will help us when we need it.

I can remember the times when I first got started in ministry and I felt so unprepared and inadequate to do the task God had called me to in youth ministry.  God surrounded me with people who I could talk with and get advice, get encouragement from, and yes, even get a little correction from.  The next time God calls you to a particular ministry position, place, or plan be take confidence in the fact that it is God calling you and not anyone else.  Take captive those thoughts that come from the devil and try to convince you that you are not good enough, smart enough, old enough, too old, or any other thought that he may try to use on you.